Thrive RN

Comparison syndrome and social media

I want to feel consequential: like the sum total of my actions matter. This week I feel reflective, and honestly a little down. I’m looking at my year through an existential lens and feel a little outside of myself. Alright, enough brooding. I want to add my two cents about comparison syndrome and social media.

A wrap up of 2022: On everyone’s highlight reel. If you’re experiencing comparison syndrome looking at everyone else’s year in review, remember this: social media is all smoke and mirrors. We rarely share the more mundane, less original, and least exciting moments of our lives online. To do so is to be vulnerable, and pop the bubble of the perfect image. It’s okay if this year was hard. If you felt exposed to the elements, stripped away of all the filters, the pretty pictures, and the laundry list of accomplishments. I struggled to come up with mine, honestly.

But right I can tell you the lows I conquered this year, so many health challenges: I tried and failed many psych medications and experienced side effects until I found the right one for me. I had suicidal thoughts from one of the meds’ side effects. I’ve come to better terms with my CPTSD. I’m learning how to navigate ADHD, a new diagnosis. I’m advocating for myself to get the best medical care to treat all the complications of long COVID, and trying to get my chronic migraines back under control. I’m setting the intention to pour back into myself so I can be a light and light provide encouragement for others.

No, I didn’t go back to my master’s program like I wanted to or get ThriveRN to where I envisioned it to be as a business, one year ago. But I’m creating something that’s mine. I’m writing again, which makes me happy and my content resonates with my community. I’ve away from things in my life that no longer serve me and am devoting more energy to the people, places, and activities that fill me with joy.

I made a new friend and partnered with her to found Seeds of Hope, a peer to peer texting service that’s in the beta phase. I could’ve used a service like this when I needed someone to talk to in nursing school or as a new grad. Trying to figure out care mental and chronic conditions can be lonely, given the stigma, and difficult- so many other topics I could explore on the blog. Seeds of Hope provides a friend who knows nursing and has experienced chronic conditions themselves. For now, it’s just me and Rosalie doing the launch, but there is so much need and potential for a service like this. It’s funny, as I’m reflecting on all my hardships this year, I’m culminating my experiences and channeling them to help other people.

Oh! And I’ve even gotten to travel twice this year internationally! Gosh, that’s huge! I can’t believe I forgot. I made it back to beautiful Costa Rica in April with a lovely group of nurses, some of whom I’ve met through social media, some were new faces, but the whole retreat week week was full of radical healing that I desperately needed, and beautiful experiences that pushed me out of my comfort zone. And in September, I ate my way through Spain, got us lost a bunch, and muddled through with long-forgotten Spanish. What an amazing country with such rich history!

The sum total of 2022: Presence, not Perfection. I bought a jacket from To Write Love on Her Arms, a nonprofit organization whose mission is to bring hope to those struggling with addiction, self harm, and suicidal ideation. I think the way this phrase found its way to me is uncanny. Or perhaps I was drawn to it because permission to pause was what I needed to hear. To that measure, presence over perfection keeps appearing in my life, and was a great theme of this year.

I remind myself not to get in my own way to try and create a certain expectation of an experience. I am letting myself feel emotions more fully. I am trying to be a better listener. No I don’t have a sparkly highlight reel. However, I’m striving to breathe in and out, in the moment. I invite you to also be here now. How are you showing up presently, here in this moment? How do you plan on showing up for yourself in the next year?